Christian Lesbian Dating In A Non-Christian World

Get up, my dear friend, fair and beautiful lover—come to me! Look around you: Winter is over; the winter rains are over, gone! Spring flowers are in blossom all over. The whole world’s a choir—and singing! Spring warblers are filling the forest with sweet arpeggios. Lilacs are exuberantly purple and perfumed, and cherry trees fragrant with blossoms. Oh, get up, dear friend, my fair and beautiful lover—come to me! Come, my shy and modest dove— leave your seclusion, come out in the open. Let me see your face, let me hear your voice. For your voice is soothing and your face is ravishing.

Song of Solomon 2:16-17

I have found it very different dating today then when I dated before I became a Christian.  In the past, I would not care about things like sex, drinking, and so forth.  Yet now I do.  I don't want to just jump in bed with anyone, especially on the first date.  And I don't want to be on a date where all they do is drink up the bar.

I do look for women with similar values and I ask if they are Christian or not.  I get, I believe but I don't go to church or anything.  I get it.  I mean the church has not always been there for the LGBT community.  So why go?  Yet, I want to meet someone that will go with me.  Is that too much to ask?

Today, I meet these women and they seem to be more about when can we have sex then building a relationship.  If that is all it is about, then I am not for them.  I am also not looking for a uhaul date.  I want to build a relationship.  I want a foundation.  

I keep wondering where my person is.  You know, that one that lives a Christian life, wants to build a relationship before jumping into bed, that doesn't find it necessary to get drunk every chance they get, and is stable in their life.  Some one that I can walk beside and support as they do me.

Dating in a world full of the opposite though is tough.  You have to get out there and just meet people and have the time they want to meet at some bar.  Why?  Cause the only place that is truly open to lesbians having a date is the lesbian bar cause there is not a lesbian coffee house.  Or besides online, the only place to meet others is at the bar cause they are not at the churches.

That is the sad thing, you can't meet a good Christian woman at church because even if they are there, you don't know it.  I would love to walk into my church one day and meet the lady of my dreams.  Maybe one day, but today is not the day.

For now, it is online sites with the hope that I can meet someone that is not too out there in the world.  One of the things though that does help, before I reach out to anyone, I pray about it.  I ask God to be involved in the interaction.  If it is to be a good one, then let it be.  I ask that He also let me be a testament to Him and be firm in my beliefs and not falter just cause she is cute.

That is hard.  There are times that I meet someone and they are very beautiful, there is much chemistry and we hit it off.  And oh how I would love to do more then just kiss them.  For goodness sake I am still alive!  I choose not to because I choose to wait till I am in a committed relationship contracted under God.  So I have a choice to make, follow my heart and brain or follow my glands.  That is when prayer comes in, I pray that God keeps me on track.

I have learned that it is easier to date when I bring God into the equation and let Him take the lead.  Those that are not meant to be there for me, seem to disappear.  Those that have some purpose in my life even if not to date, stay in it.  But no matter what I must have God first!

Story time - A Pride Story She couldn't walk away!

There she was, listening to him spit out his vial words.  Wondering how this was to lead people to God.  He shouted things like "God hates your sin and you won't go to heaven" and "You are evil"  He was turning red with anger and you could see his frustration that people were not listening to him, or if they were, they were not doing what he wanted.

Julie, a newly baptized Christian, feeling a little spunky, just couldn't sit there though and watch this without saying something.  Though she had just been baptized, she was raised in the church.  She knew the Bible inside out.  She studied it and read all she could about the scriptures that were against homosexuality.  She also read many more.  Here was her chance, she had blown it when her father came at her, but now, she knew she could do it!

Walking firm holding on to her cross necklace, she marched up to the guy, through the crowd, and got his attention. She then quoted scripture to him, Starting with Matthew 7:1-5 Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

"You have a plank of homosexuality in your eye mam, get it out before you burn!" he spatted back.

She came at him with "Luke 6:37 Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

"I am to tell you of your sin, I am to to judge you!  You are living in sin!  You are an abomination to God, you are going to Hell"

"You can judge for God?" She comely asked.

"He has charged us to deliver each other from sin, and you are living an unatural lifestyle!" he yelled at her.

"Unnatural? Then why are there animals who are homosexual?"

"Because they live in sin!"

"Animals sin?"

"Yes because of Adam and Eve, all creatures sin!"

"Oh really, interesting"

"You are not a Christian and you must be born again and repent!"

"I am a Christian and been born again!" Julie said confidently

"Do you even know what that means?"

"Do you?"

"I asked you first" His voice still raising and yelling at her.

"John 3 tells us we are born again when we are born through the water and spirit aka baptism, full immersion, done after admission that Christ is the son of God and our Savior." Julie replies calmly.

"No, you don't know, and if that is what you believe then you are not born again!" He yells at her.

Seeing that she was not going to get any where and that the crowd was getting restless and that they were starting to want more then an argument with the guy, Julie thought quick.  She spouted out one more scripture "Romans  14:1-4 Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.  For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help."

"I will never fellowship with anyone that doesn't see it my way as it is God's way!" He shouted at her!

"Then you leave me one choice!" She calmly said.

Then Julie took a deep breath, braced herself, and with the loudest voice she could muster, she let out these words: "Heavenly Father, God above all, Hear our prayer, bless us this day and bless this man and bring peace to him and help him deal with this ego that he has.  Help him find that he does not have to find the specks in others eyes when he has many in his own to deal with.  It is okay God, I know he thinks he is doing your work, but he doesn't know the damage he is doing.  Help him move on and find a better use of his energy.  God, loving father, we bow before you, We your people help us show your love to those that don't show us your love.  Help us show your mercy that won't think twice to show it to us.  Let us show that we are all your children!  God, great Father, walk with us guiding us in love!  It is in your son's name we come, amen!"

When Julie opened her eyes, he was silent, he picked up his speaker and walked away.  The crowed cheered. And Julie started one last thing she got them to chant, God is love!

Proud of herself, she whispered, "Thank you God, you did that!"

Accepting the gay you from others!

Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.

For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.

Romans 14:1-4

What a powerful scripture!  Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do!  Not force your belief or only accept those that see things exactly as you do!  But welcome fellow believers.  Accept people as they are.  

For those that don't know, I have been struggling with my own family accepting the fact that I am a lesbian.  They think that I can't be a lesbian and a Christian.  They use the scripture to say this, though I have studied the same ones and see it different.  They refuse to agree to disagree on this. 

This is a hard pill to swallow.  I mean I accept them. I accept all of them.  I see them accept all of my brother.  He is no saint and I see them accept him.  He drinks, sleeps around, brings over women that he lives with and not married to, and they accept it.  But because it is a straight relationship, it is okay and they accept it.  But me, no, I will never feel this kind of acceptance.

I will never be able to bring home my girlfriend.  I will never be able to have family at my wedding when that happens.  I can't talk about who I am seeing.  I can't talk about what I dream about.  I am expected to live a life alone.  And it hurts.

This is not acceptance.  This is rejection.  This is putting me in a cell.  This is forcing a life on me that is not what I feel God would want for me.  I know that I am not alone in this.  I know that there are others out there that have it even worse.  Who may say, at least your family is talking to you and not disowning you.

At one time they did, I remember it like it was yesterday.  I don't know what happened that changed their mind, but something did.  I guess God.  I know I am blessed that they are talking to me and love me and not turning their back away, but still the fact that they won't accept all of me and that there is a part of my life that they will never be a part of, hurts.

I know walking this life, there are going to be people in this world that don't accept the fact that I am a lesbian.  There are going to be those in the church that won't accept that.  Yet God teaches us to accept fellow believers even when we don't see eye to eye.   And you know what, a friend of mine said it best, "Let's say there is a billion people on this earth and two don't accept you and refuse to.  Well there are 999,999,998 who accept you as you are!"

Can a lesbian be baptized?

We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

Romans 6:4

The simple answer to the question is yes, a lesbian can be baptized!  How do I know? Cause I was just baptized!  I know what you are thinking, you have been writing this blog for awhile and you are saying you just now got baptized?  Well, I was baptized as a kid, say about 12.  I did it then cause my folks wanted, the rest of the kids were doing it, but I didn't believe then.  I believed that others believed, but I didn't.  I wanted to make others happy.

So, now as an adult, I started questioning that baptism.  Was it for real?  I never questioned it before and always called myself a Christian, but now that I was taking God serious and really believing, I wanted things to be right.

So after much meditation, talking with the preacher, and prayer, I did it.  I took the plunge.  And you know what, I understand the freedom and high that others talk about now.  I understand feeling clean from it now.  I didn't come out of saying I am straight, no I am still gay.  I didn't come out perfect, I will still have faults, I am human after all.  Yet, I came out feeling like I have a clean slate, like a new person who now has a fresh start in life.

I came out not feeling guilty for the first time in years.  I imagine I was and am the first lesbian that my church has ever baptized.  Yet I know I won't be the last.  I know, now, that I can be used by God to the full extent He has planned as truly one of His children.

I am found now, no longer lost.  I died to self and raised in Him.  So yes, if you are gay, you can be baptized and that part of you, will still be there!  It is part of you!  God just takes away that which is sinful and the past that made you unacceptable in His eyes.

So, now, what will this mean for me?  Who knows?  All I know, is now that I am God's child through baptism, I will serve Him how He has me.  It is no longer me driving!

Below is my own baptism!

GENTRI Covers - "Let It Be" (The Beatles Cover)