Tapestry Retreat Recap

I could start this out by saying "What happens at Tapestry, stays at Tapestry!" But then how would you my reader know how great it was?  The little line on it where it says a spiritual journey is something that should not be taken lightly!  It is just that!

Before I begin to tell my experience I would like to say that no names will be used.  Tapestry is a safe place and confidentiality is a big thing to provide that safety.  So no names, no pictures of others, just my experience.

I hopped in my car at the crack of dawn Thursday morning and began my trek from Houston, TX to Memphis, TN.  With each mile I drove, my anxiety rose.  I tried to calm it by doing some touristy things like stopping at the state tourist information places.  

I had hoped on the drive to listen to a book called "God and the Gay Christian" by Matthew Vines yet I found myself not able to concentrate on the book and drive at the same time.  So that book review will come at a later time.  I instead listened to music and thought about what to expect from the retreat.  My anxiety grew as I mentioned.  I was going to something new where I didn't know any one except for an email to one lady and one phone call.

This was so out of my comfort zone!  I kept thinking what am I doing!  It is not too late to turn around!  Yet, I was on a mission.  I had talked to my preacher about going on this trip and he had asked me to get some nuggets to help the church be accepting of the LGBT community into the church.  This no longer was a trip for me, but a trip to help the church.  How could I let them down?  And besides, I could not let you the reader down and not come back and tell you about it.

So after ten hours I arrived to the most beautiful campground I have ever seen.  Relieved to not be driving any more I turned off the car for the last time and got out.  As I was getting my things, a lady I am glad to call my friend came out and asked if she could help me carry in.  And right away I felt not only accepted but wanted at this event.  That feeling didn't stop either through out the weekend.

I am not going to get into the details of everything that we did through the weekend, that would spoil it for you if you ever decide to go.  I will say this, it gave a space that I could and others could have open conversations about any thing.

We talked about how such things like community, labels that people put on us and how we can combat them, what it means to be a Gay Christian, and so much more.  We played games together.  We grew bonds that I know will be long lasting.

Tapestry is about so much.  It is a God send!  God inspired!  God driven! It is an event for the people that allows the people to freely be themselves and not worry about judgment.  Will I go back?  Every time Tapestry happens, I will make a way to be there!  My world is improved because of it!

I left Sunday to make the drive back with not just tools to give the church, tools to use in my life, answers to some questions, questions I did not know I had, challenges to work through, challenges to make some things happen, ideas for this blog, which right there that list is already a lot, but also a deeper connection to God.

So I recommend to anyone Tapestry.  I recommend Centerpeace.  The people who run it are amazing and one day I hope to volunteer my services to help grow their mission!  

To learn more go to https://www.centerpeace.net/

Going away to a retreat...

For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

Matthew 18:20

Well, I am excited to say that I am running away this Thursday to a retreat put on by CenterPeace. I will be meeting others who are in the Church of Christ and who are part of the LGBT community. I look forward to this. I will be driving 9 1/2 hours from my home in Texas to Tennessee. I have plenty of listening things to keep me going. But this blog will be getting many things when I get back.

One of the things will be of course a recap of the retreat. Then there will be more about CenterPeace. Maybe something about what churches can do to help LGBT members in their own congregations. And also a book review as I will be listening to God and the Gay Christian by Matthew Vine on the way up and back.

So till I get back.....hope yall have a good weekend!

To learn more about CenterPeace go to https://www.centerpeace.net/

Dating in your 40s

Okay, I don't talk about my dating life much on here, but thought that I would today.  Dating is so different now that I am 40 and living a Christian life.  In the past, I would date around.  I was looking for fun and now.  I wanted someone that was out for a good time like I was.

Now that I am older, I am looking to settle down.  I want to meet that person that will be there till the end of times with me.  My person that gets me in the good times and bad times.  I want a friend first, then my lover.  It is harder though to meet people when you are 40.

Most are married, in committed relationships, or there is a reason they are not.  For instance one person I went out with was still growing up and coming to terms with being gay.  One gal, went great with, but she moved to another state and we are still good friends.  Another I went out with turned out to just be getting out of a relationship and not over it yet.  And another person I went out with, well it was like dating her whole family right away.  And finally another only wanted to have sex and was not happy when I let it be known that I will not be having sex till I say "I do" again.

So, this makes me think what are my flaws that push people away?  Do I talk about ex's too much?  No, not any more, I worked through that now.  Is it cause I live at home with my folks? If so, that is lame excuse.  Is it I am too out going? I think not as these days I am more shy then outgoing.  Am I too big?  Well maybe, but working on that.  Do I work too much?  Well of course, how else am I to pay the bills?  Am I too butch?  I think at times yes and others no.

Yet, I can't pick myself apart!  And the person for me won't either.  They will help me build to a better future.  One with God in it!  In fact where He is first in our lives.  They are my equal and walking at times in front to lead when I can't, at times behind to give me a push when it calls for it, and others beside me when it calls for that.  They listen to me even when I can't say anything.  And finally they love unconditionally as I will give it to them.

So as I date in my 40s, I look for my forever person and keep in mind that she is out there getting ready for me as I have also been getting ready for her.  May God send us in each other's path soon and let us start to build our friendship!  It is in God's hands, all I can do is put myself out there to meet them!

Story Time: It was her smile

Laura leaned up against the corner of the old brick building.  Looking across the parking lot, she didn't know who to be looking for.  She just knew her name was Jeannette and that she had curly black hair.  Sure she had seen a picture of her, but that didn't mean she knew for sure what she looked like.  Laura sucked down one last smoke and nervously looked around.

This was a date set up by Laura's best friend Tish and Laura was not told much, just that Tish said Jeannette was really nice and will meet her at 5 pm at the Olympian Grill on the Harbor side of the island.  Laura had not been on a date in some time and was not sure what to do.  She just knew though that Tish would never let her hear the end of it if she did not at least make an attempt to meet Jeannette.

Finally, a woman that matched the description and picture started walking up towards Laura.  Laura snuffed out the smoke, nervously fixed her hair, and yet could not get her eyes off this goddess that walked her way.  Laura scoped her out from head to toes.  Jeannette's hair was wild in the wind, her eyes inviting, her smile enticing.  She wore a stripped scarf, deep red sweater, jeans that showed off her curves, rainbow socks, and brown loafers.  Laura knew at that moment, there was going to be more to this date then she had expected.  For it was Jeannette's smile that drew her in and held her wanting more.

"You must be Laura?"

"And you must be Jeannette!"

"Waiting long?"

"Nah, I only been here a few minutes."

"Well shall we go in?"

From there the two of them went into the restaurant.  They ordered a tilapia dish to share.  As they waited on the meal, they talked about how they each knew Tish, about looking for a relationship and difficulties in it, and so much more.  Laura felt her defenses go down as she interacted with Jeannette.  It was still that smile that drew her in, made her feel at ease, and make her want more.

"Shall we continue this at the beach?" Jeannette asked Laura.

"Sure, but I must warn you, I may try to kiss you."

"And I may let you."

With that Laura leaned in and kissed the soft tender lips of Jeannette.  Then she learned it was not just her smile but her kiss as well.

Only God heals the brokenhearted!

 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 147:3

If you have ever been in a relationship, then you have had a broken heart.  I thought I would never heal from mine.  To this day, I still have dreams of her and what we once had.  I can't help but think of her when I go to certain places that we once frequented.  Honestly I love her as much if not more then the day she left.  I hurt because I no longer had her in my life.  I mourned for years over her.  But it wasn't till I got into Christ's church that I began to heal.

I don't know why or how it happened, but I began to be able to think of her and not cry.  I began to not dream as much of her.  I began to go places that I shared with her and not get depressed.  I began to heal.  And when I had given up on love, Christ's love brought me back.

I know it is hard to come back from a broken heart.  I know it is not easy to see the light when darkness is all around you.  I know it is not easy to believe that you will find love again.  I know because that is how I was.

I can tell you though, there is love to be found.  No I am not in a relationship yet, but I had to heal or begin to heal before I could even think of being in one.  Now I know there is someone out there getting ready to meet me and I her.  Who knows, maybe one of us has a lesson to learn first or a difficult thing to get over first.

All I know though, is that God loves me.  He hears me.  He heals me.  God is good and knows what will happen and when I meet my person.  The rest were just training for the real deal!  I just have to have hope and faith.  So if you are out there, don't give up!  Your person is just getting ready for you and you for them!  In God's time you will meet them!